Monday, November 15, 2010

Tough obstacles

Dear Friends.....I am back! It has taken me a good two weeks to surface again and to feel able to put onto paper a summary of this most recent journey. The last of the big infusions started on a very emotional note. The poor nurse struggled to get any straight answers out of me as I just burst into tears at each question. I am not sure what came over me, but I felt such a deep sense of despair and hopelessness as I sat in the chemo chair for over 4 hours. I should have felt relief at it being my last 'long session', but instead felt completely overwhelmed.

My reaction this time was the worst of all three sessions. For some reason my body took a good 10 days to even feel a semblance of normality and strength. It was a recovery filled with obstacles and road blocks, and I must confess that I was not sure I had the strength to continue. I felt I had been involved in a marathon race that seemed to have no finish line. I was quite certain I would not be able to face any further infusions and that my body had taken all it could.

But what a wonderfully patient God we serve. Day by day, He lifted me further and further out of the depressive thoughts that threatened to overwhelm my recovery process. My family was patient, and Peter especially helped me to gain better perspective and continued to stay positive. My parents kept close tabs on my progress with regular calls, and I was grateful to have so many friends show their care and concern.

At times like this it is easy to think that coping with daily family responsibilities is more than one can cope with, but in actuality, they are what keep you going. Dealing with the daily chores of family life, help keep you focused on the 'Martha tasks'. Satan threatens to take you out of the race we are all called to run. I am thankful for my family, and for the fact that life does go on despite my Cancer. Daily, I must continue to keep perspective and 'see the big picture'. No matter how many days God grants me on this Earth, His plan for all of us is one that is victorious and it will serve His purpose. My goal is to stay faithful, and to run the race.

Thank you to all of you, who have so faithfully held my hand during this race. Without you, things would be so much more difficult.

I face nine more weekly infusions now. They are to be much shorter, and with less side effects than the first three. I must confess that I dread going in for these, but trust our heavenly Father for victory in this area.

The school year is winding down here in the Southern Hemisphere and so many year end funtions are happening. It is good to be busy and to stay focused on other things. We all wish you a blessed Thanksgiving celebration. I know we all have so much to thank God for. I certainly give thanks for all of you.


Lenora and family