Saturday, September 25, 2010

LIfe after Chemo......

is allot less scary than I thought! So while the first three to five days were an emotional roller coaster, it did get better with time. The nausea abated somewhat, I did not need to sleep during the day anymore, and before I knew it, life returned to a sense of normality again.

God has been good, and has allowed me to recover more strength than I believed possible. Peter returned home after a 3 1/2 week packed ministry trip around South Africa. His support and encouragement have allowed me to see things more positively again. Things have gotten better with each passing day, and I am so grateful.

This coming Tuesday is my next session, and by all accounts the second and third one will be easier than the first. I know what to expect now......AND I know that it gets better again. My hair started falling out yesterday, so this is a new experience for me. I am glad now, that I had it cut short.

My Chemo sessions have become almost like a deadline or a departure for a trip. I am timing everything according to my next bout with chemo.....and try to finish as much as I can before I will be out of action again. It makes my 'good days' more efficient, and allows us to coast during my 'down days'.

Your sustaining prayers and encouragement during this difficult time help us to keep on keeping on. I am grateful to be surrounded by your love. May our Lord and Saviour be your strength and hope today and tomorrow.

With love and gratefulness for each new day,


Saturday, September 11, 2010

A new and unfamiliar path

The day for my first Chemo Therapy treatment was brought forward, as I was deemed ready and my wounds had healed sufficiently. As I entered the Oncology department, I suddenly realized the implications of my forthcoming treatments, and must confess that I was afraid. So many people were sitting all around in comfortable chairs, hooked up to treatments, while sipping tea and chatting with a loved one. I wondered what the story was for each of these people, and what type of cancer they were struggling with.

The nurses struggled to find a good vein to use, but managed on the third attempt. During the next 4 and 1/2 hours I watched each medication, and subsequent flushing with a saline solution course through my veins. I marveled at the ability God has given Doctors to treat this disease, and was thank full to be in such a lovely facility. I think that the reality of Cancer hit me during this time, and I realized I was not going to make it through this without God's everlasting love and grace. Suddenly, my previous strength and resolve seemed altogether inadequate to get me through this next chapter in my life.

All of our family's medical situations up to this point - Christopher's birth with renal impairment and all the many many surgeries he has been through; my struggle with hepatitis; and then the nephrectomy / transplant - have been circumstances where God has given us as a family a measure of strength, support, encouragement and just the ability to trust Him fully . So while there were tough times, we rested in the full assurance of God's sovereign plan for each of us. I must humbly confess that this time I feel much weaker and unable to face things as confidently as before.

Perhaps it is the constant nausea, or the vomiting, or the subsequent inability to cook for the family and take care of the things as I usually do. Perhaps it is the feeling of being out of control. Perhaps it is having to rely on others like I have never had to. Or perhaps it is just wondering if I will be cancer free when this is all over with.

Because Scripture confirms it, I am certain still, that God is in this, and that He will carry each of us through this. I am so grateful to all of you for your prayers, letters, emails, cards, advice and friendship. 'Thank you' does not seem adequate.

As tears roll down my cheeks, I must continue to ask for your prayers and perseverance, for alone we surely cannot get through this. Pray for Peter as he handles a very very full schedule with so many increased demands; for my parents as they do so much to be supportive of us as a family and as a mission; for Andrea, as she feels sad to be away from us during this time; for our children here at home, as they cope without me for much of the time, and of course for me, that I would be a good witness to other patients and friends.

I am ever grateful to all of you, that we are not alone. May God bless all of you with an abudance of good things.