A new and unfamiliar path

The day for my first Chemo Therapy treatment was brought forward, as I was deemed ready and my wounds had healed sufficiently. As I entered the Oncology department, I suddenly realized the implications of my forthcoming treatments, and must confess that I was afraid. So many people were sitting all around in comfortable chairs, hooked up to treatments, while sipping tea and chatting with a loved one. I wondered what the story was for each of these people, and what type of cancer they were struggling with.

The nurses struggled to find a good vein to use, but managed on the third attempt. During the next 4 and 1/2 hours I watched each medication, and subsequent flushing with a saline solution course through my veins. I marveled at the ability God has given Doctors to treat this disease, and was thank full to be in such a lovely facility. I think that the reality of Cancer hit me during this time, and I realized I was not going to make it through this without God's everlasting love and grace. Suddenly, my previous strength and resolve seemed altogether inadequate to get me through this next chapter in my life.

All of our family's medical situations up to this point - Christopher's birth with renal impairment and all the many many surgeries he has been through; my struggle with hepatitis; and then the nephrectomy / transplant - have been circumstances where God has given us as a family a measure of strength, support, encouragement and just the ability to trust Him fully . So while there were tough times, we rested in the full assurance of God's sovereign plan for each of us. I must humbly confess that this time I feel much weaker and unable to face things as confidently as before.

Perhaps it is the constant nausea, or the vomiting, or the subsequent inability to cook for the family and take care of the things as I usually do. Perhaps it is the feeling of being out of control. Perhaps it is having to rely on others like I have never had to. Or perhaps it is just wondering if I will be cancer free when this is all over with.

Because Scripture confirms it, I am certain still, that God is in this, and that He will carry each of us through this. I am so grateful to all of you for your prayers, letters, emails, cards, advice and friendship. 'Thank you' does not seem adequate.

As tears roll down my cheeks, I must continue to ask for your prayers and perseverance, for alone we surely cannot get through this. Pray for Peter as he handles a very very full schedule with so many increased demands; for my parents as they do so much to be supportive of us as a family and as a mission; for Andrea, as she feels sad to be away from us during this time; for our children here at home, as they cope without me for much of the time, and of course for me, that I would be a good witness to other patients and friends.

I am ever grateful to all of you, that we are not alone. May God bless all of you with an abudance of good things.

Gratefully,

Lenora